Didn't your mom tell you not to talk to strangers

When I was younger I used to talk to strangers online all the time despite my mom telling me not to. Then one day, someone in Brazil I was talking to on Neopets got really mad at me and tried to report me so I stopped doing that. However, tonight I decided to try again, because, well, why not?


First I went to Chatroulette. I clicked on the button that said to only connect me to people without webcams, but it didn't listen. It kept on partnering me with guys who kept on "nexting" me, probably because I had my webcam turned off. I also had my settings to not pair me with nudity, but I still saw a man's penis. Oh well.

Then I went to Omegle and did text-only; I didn't want to see anymore strange penises. Guys kept on asking for pics tho. Oh horny internet people. Once a girl disconnected after I said I was a girl too, I thought that was rude. But I did have nice chats with a girl from Cali who wants to major in drama next year, a horny guy who though had horrible grammar kept on complimenting me, a girl who was bored, and a guy who sent me a picture of the Kool-Aid man.

Getting dirty in the bedroom

We put up our Christmas tree today. Not too last minute. So in order to make room for it we usually have to move some stuff out of the living room, normally a table gets put in the basement. But today, since my mom's hibiscus tree was where my dad wanted to put our Christmas tree, that was the thing to get moved. Problem is, he told my brother to put it in my bedroom. Nobody asked me if I wanted a large plant in my bedroom. The hibiscus is in here against my will. I don't want it in here. I mean, it's potted in dirt, now there's dirt in my room. That bothers me. But since I had no say in the matter (as a matter of fact I tried to protest) I said I was putting ornaments on it. I only had a few extra ornaments, but there it is:

Mall Santas are creepy

What, it's December 18th and no annual Christmas drawing yet? That's what I thought too. But first a reacp:

2009: "Modern Elves"

2010: "Don't Forget Anything This Holiday Season: Especially Not Your Pants!"

And now, what you've been waiting for...

2011: "Santa's Tired of Your Ridiculous Requests (and You Can Just Kiss His A**)"

Santa got a little fed up. Now it looks as though he's probably going to jail. I mean, in front of children? Perv. Although some people do have ridiculous holidays wishes. My 7 year old cousin has on her Christmas list things including an iPad, a pool, and fake blood. Strange. 

So I just realized I should probably stop drawing pictures of Santa without his pants on. Maybe I'm the perv. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! 

This is why I can't drink coffee ever

Caffeine in pop to me is like the person who says she's your friend, but when you are not around she's telling everyone what a bitch you are. This is what it did to me last night:
1. Drank Pepsi late afternoon- shortly afterwards I became hyper and could not stop giggling- couldn't focus on studying.
2. Evening- still hyper, dance party by myself in my bedroom (don't judge)- still wasn't studying.
3. After dinner- became really tired, drank some more before falling asleep for an hour.
4. Early night- actually got some studying done
5. 1am-3:30 am- couldn't sleep, totally awake.
6. Today- SO TIRED. Drink more pop. Repeat.

Meanwhile, at 2:30 am last night, I decided it would be a good idea to have a another dance party because 1. it would wear me out and 2. it would be good to stand up since my back hurt from sitting all day. THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. My back could not handle my sister's choreography to "We R Who We R" The result was more pain. And I was still awake.

Are we there yet?

I recall a conversation from last year with a guy I know, Ryan, where I was like, "What's finals week like at real college? Because at Harper it's awesome because you're hardly in class and you get to sleep in." And Ryan was like, "Yeah, no, it's not like that at all." Then he walked away without telling me what it's like.  Well, now I'm finding out what it's like.

I think the final gods are cashing in on their karma on me because not only do I have 5 finals to take, but I also have 2 make-up tests from when I was sick (should have two-can't get a hold of one professor-only adding to my stress!). Not to mention, I'm still catching up on new material from when I was sick. In other words, I have no choice but to study ALL THE TIME.  It's funny because this whole semester I attributed my less-than-perfect first-semester-of-real-college grades to the fact that I don't really know how to study on a count of never really having to study before, but still was able to get good grades with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. A problem that was only made worse by most of my Harper classes (with the exception of general chem 2 which may be the only class I despise more than my current physics class, measured by the amount it kills me and my brain). But as of a few days ago, I have been studying probably more than I have the whole semester. I definitely know how to study now. Speaking of which, I must get back to.  I can do this, right? 

PS. Is it ok to put off studying for physics by studying for other classes? It's still studying. 

My jedi skills must be lacking

Automatic doors make me nervous. I feel like they can't really be trusted. This is what I noticed as I was leaving the grocery store today. So the sign on the door says "automatic door: keep moving." This I have a problem with. I can't keep moving because the door isn't opening. Oh sure, so far the door has always opened for me, but there are those few seconds when you are approaching the door thinking, "Is it going to open? When is it going to open? Why isn't it opening yet? Maybe it doesn't see me, maybe it's broken. I don't want to look like a fool and stop, but I don't want to walk into the door either. Oh God, I'm right here, please open, please open, please open. Whew it opened." And then you go on with your life until the next time you come across an automatic door and it happens again. I have to admit though, I frequently stop in front of the door, just to make sure. Good thing too, because I swear it only opens when your face is two inches away from the glass.

Better solution: non-creepily (or creepily if that's your thing) follow a group of strangers out the door, or if you are already in a group inconspicuously move to the back of the group. That way if there are any problems someone else will be the one walking into the door.

The day was a very long blur

So this mysterious illness, possibly illnesses, that has been afflicting me for the past week is still not over yet. Yesterday I thought I felt better, and I was all like, "damn straight I'm taking the bus back to school I feel fine." And today I'm all like, "I feel so icky I want my mommy!"

 My day psuedo-started at 7am when my alarm went off for me to get ready for my 8 am class, but then I was like, "I feel like shit. And it's really cold at this time. Going back to bed." Then at 10 I got my ass out of bed and took Advil right away so all the icky feelings would go away, took a 30 min shower, but the icky feelings never went away. My throat was killing me- I was struggling to get through a bowl of oatmeal it hurt so bad; that's sad. I would have given up on the oatmeal but for some reason the medicine I had decided to take last was the one that said to take with food, go figure. Though at that point I had poured so much water into the oatmeal, I was more drinking it. Anyways, at this point I was still working towards making my 12pm class- took all my meds, gargled salt water, put a cold washcloth over my puffy eyes, but as I was laying there with the washcloth on my face, I was like, "we're going over stuff in class that I've already learned. Not to mention we are talking about the immune system and I'm not very fond of mine right now- it is slacking." So I didn't go. The rest of the day I fell in and out of sleep and confusion. At one point I decided I had to go buy milk and orange juice right away, it couldn't wait- so I did. But I had to be careful because my brain wasn't functioning properly and I had to go out into public a little. I did ok until I got back and dropped the milk on the floor for no reason. Then more sleeping, confusion, and loneliness. The highlight of my day was skyping with my friend Devin, but even he didn't want to talk very long because I wasn't much fun.

Home is where the hives are

I am sick of being home. It's not that I don't love and appreciate my family, though I admit this week definitely  hasn't been as much fun as I expected, it's just that being here makes me sick. Literally. I seemed to have developed an allergy to some unidentified thing and it has been causing me misery all week. Now, I know there are some people in the world whose families drive them crazy and they wish they could say they are allergic to being home for the excuse not to go home, but that's not what's going on here. You probably do not wish me go into detail to describe the hives which are currently covering my body, so I will spare you, let's just say they are itchy and somewhat painful. As I type, I am about to pass out from the Benadryl. I can't wait to go back to school, not because I don't love my family, but because this really sucks.  I really hope we can figure out the cause too because I cannot put up with this for three weeks when the semester ends. Man, who would have thought I'd be allergic to being home?

*Update* The doctor thinks I just have an infection. Which is good, means I'm not allergic to anything here.

3 things in my mind/life right now

1.)  I am home!!!  I've missed my family so much, it's great to finally see them again. I even managed to get a hug from my little brother when I got home and my older brother picked me up by the ankles so I was up in the air-I was afraid he was going to drop me on my head! My fam even got me a welcome home banner, well, my fam and my neighbor Patrick who works at the party store.

2.) I went over to my little cousin's house last night. I missed her a lot too. We went over Spanish flashcards, sang Elmo's 12 Days of Christmas, and she even gave me a new look. Like it? It's pretty stylin. 

3.) I just read an FML that said: "Today, a customer tried to get my number at work. Unfortunately, I work at a waxing salon and had just spent 35 minutes waxing his back. FML" And there was a comment: "Give him your number cause you gave him sexy back!" Hilarious. Made my day. 

Whatever it takes to get the homework done

Earlier I had a lot of homework to do and I found it is easier to deal with when I listen to my playlist of "party songs" which consists of songs I like to dance and sing to. So I was looking up genetics vocab words and sheep breeds, with my iPod blasting in my ears, having a good time dancing and writing. At first I didn't even even realize I had begun to sing because my music was so loud I couldn't hear myself. When I realized I was singing, I stopped-because let's face it, my singing may hurt your ears. But I guess it wasn't soon enough because when I was in the kitchen my roommate, whose bedroom is right next to mine, told me I'm a good singer. Apparently I was singing Katy Perry's California Gurls- I do not even remember singing that song. And as for me being a good singer, either my roommate was making fun of me or she is tone deaf.

WE NEED A LITTLE CHRISTMAS RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!

So I've been listening to Christmas music for almost two weeks now. That's not completely true, let me rephrase: I've been listening to Christmas music constantly (within reason) for almost two weeks, but let's face it, I listen to it year round. And for all you haters out there who are like, "No, it's too early for Christmas, it's not even Thanksgiving yet!" Well, all I have to say to you guys is screw you. BECAUSE CHRISTMAS IS FRICKEN AWESOME. Seriously guys, it's the most wonderful time of the year. Why wouldn't you want to start it early?

 Anyways, at home I usually try to refrain from decorating my room for Christmas until the Friday after Thanksgiving, but oh my god, that is so hard and I do not have that kind of self-control, so I usually let myself put a few small things up every week in November. Here though, I don't have any decorations. That's just not right. Christmas cheer starts right now. So I decided to pick a few things up at Walmart today.

Ahhh, much better. Merry Christmas! And Happy Thanksgiving too, I guess. 

Bloggin'

I think I've mentioned this before, but for those of you who don't know, Blogger lets you see "stats" of your blog. These are things such as how many pageviews you got, at what times, what country people are viewing your blog from, and referring sites. Well I just checked my stats and I got a few pageviews from a guinea pig blog, who linked other guinea pig blogs on their website. That's cool and whatever, but mine isn't really a guinea pig blog. Yes, I talk about guinea pigs a lot because they are AWESOME. But it's still just my personal blog about, well, anything I want. However, if you happen to be reading this after clicking the link form the guinea pig blog, I will gladly talk to you about guinea pigs if you want to comment or e-mail me. Also, here is the link for all of my posts with the label "guinea pig" 

Also, on my stats, Cheesebutt got it's first view from an iPad.

PS: I found it amusing that in my last post, which had nothing to do about guinea pigs, I mentioned guinea pigs twice. I guess I do actually just sit at home and think about guinea pigs all day.

PS PS: I just realized I'm wearing a t-shirt with a guinea pig on it today. It's from the girl's department at Target, an XL, but still I couldn't resist buying it.

What happened to my best friend?

If you are going to stop being friends with someone, you need a good reason. A really good reason. People are too important in our lives to just let people go if we really care about them and they care about us. This is why I don't understand why we aren't friends anymore. We had been best friends since the 4th grade, you were my Person, and still not a day goes by that there's not something I want to tell you about.

You're the one who stopped speaking to me. You moved, fricken moved, without telling me or anyone, just tweeted it, really? Tweeted it? Then when you had to see me because we were at work, you still would barely tell me anything. And you used to be the one person in the world who I could tell everything and anything too. No one else understands me like you do because there are just things about me they wouldn't understand, but you knew everything little, crazy thing about me, and I was always there for you. That's why you were my person and I was yours. 

But you stopped talking to me! Stopped responding to my texts! I don't know the fuck why. Because you are too cool with your new life? Your new boyfriend, and your new apartment, and God knows what else you do while I still sit at home all day thinking about guinea pigs, right? Sorry I'm not cool enough for you. 

Do you remember that day this past spring when I told you I couldn't be friends with you anymore because I was sick of you treating me like shit? I remember that day perfectly because I had been out late that night because we took Elmer to the emergency vet at 11pm and were there until 1. Then I had sucky work and I was texting you all day in between phone calls and typing stuff. Well even after that horrible day, we still worked it out and were friends later. And even after that you still continued to blow me off and be a bad friend to me, but I still tried to be friends with you because I guess I have a thing for people who hurt me emotionally. 

I really didn't give up on our friendship until August when it was clear you obviously did not give a fuck about me. You wouldn't tell me about your life.  And you never once asked how my new life at school was, despite how much I helped you through your first year at college. 

And now? You unfriended me on facebook?? I mean don't even have very many facebook friends, but I still have fb friends who are people I've never spoken more than two words to in real life, but you, who used to be my best friend- nope not facebook friends anymore. 

For the record, I've thought about texting you a million times since August. I miss you. But I was just too hurt. Well, it's clear you don't give a fuck about me. So much for best friends forever, huh? 

Chicken troubles

Went to the poultry farm today in class. We got to hold baby chicks. They had just hatched this morning. They were soooo cute and so soft. After picking that little guy up, all I could do was smile because he was just so adorable and it made my day. I was so happy, I had to tone down my smile lest my classmates think I'm uncool. But then my little chick started to be a little frustrating. He started pecking at me. Then he kept of turning around. He buried his head in my hand, then pecked at it some more. Then he was chirping really loudly. Then he kept trying to get away. I was the only person in my group who couldn't keep control of their chick. How embarrassing! And as all this was going on, I was supposed to be listening to a guy who was teaching us about the baby chicks, but I was too busy trying to keep mine from jumping out of my hands! Meanwhile the kid behind me said his chick fell asleep in his hand. How fricken cute is that?! Too cute too handle! Mine pooped on my hand.

What a dork

And by "What a dork" I obviously mean you for watching this whole thing. :P 

Mediocrity at its finest

My accomplishments of the past three days:

• I've exercised- gone for lengthy walks around campus. 
• I watched So You Think You Can Dance off my Hulu queue which had been there since July- it's an amazing show btw
• I actually did my animal science 101 homework yesterday unlike last time when I didn't do it
• I took the bus by myself and bought food from Wal-Mart- independence and no starvation, both pluses
• I finally got to see a Surviving the World Dante Shepherd Livestream-it had been forever since I last saw one
• I started writing again- writing crap, but it's still fun 
• I changed the background picture on my computer 

I know, I know, you all are really impressed. It's amazing what you can get done when you don't have to waste your time on things like a social life or friends. 

Things I still haven't gotten around to: 

• genetics and physics homework
• cleaning the bathroom
• doing laundry
• making friends

But let's be honest, those things weren't gonna happen anytime soon anyway. 

SAB IRL

I just read an article on Yahoo about two girls who found out they were switched at birth. I was more excited  about that than I should be. I mean, just like one of my favorite TV shows! Who would have thunk something like this actually happened? See, sometimes TV shows are not that crazy. Although, I shouldn't be excited because it probably freaked out and turned the world upside-down for these girls and their families. That's the problem with real life; TV is better. 

Here's the link to the Yahoo article. 

How about a nightmare to go with your crappy week?

A couple nights ago I had a dream that I was holding Wilbur at home. Then my parents thought I should let him run around on the floor. I was uncertain about that because I thought he might run under the railing and fall to the downstairs. So I let him run around and I was really nervous, but trying not to worry. And just as I thought I should go sit by the railing to block him if he tries to go under, he ran under, slid, and fell. And he died obviously, because guinea pigs can't handle that big of a fall. And seeing him laying there, on the ground, bloody and all broken, was just too much. When I woke-up, I wasn't all that relieved to remember that Wilbur is actually dead. Although at least he died peacefully in real life.

A poem

I've lost my mind

I've gone crackers

I've lost my crackers

The third one is the most upsetting.

(Because then how are you going to eat your Easy Cheese?) 

Read at own risk

I can't do this. School, everything, mainly school. I can't become a veterinarian. I'm not smart enough, I'm not hardworking, I'm unmotivated and lazy. I used to think I was smart. In high school I was smart. I was in the top 10% of my class. At Harper I was smart, I got good grades with barely any effort. In elementary school, oddly enough, I didn't consider myself smart back then. But I worked really hard. I used to love to learn and I would teach myself outside of school so I could impress my teachers. When did that stop? My senior year of high school when I got that acceptance letter to U of I, I was so motivated to show them I had what it takes and that was my best school year ever, which is how I slid into the top 10% by the way. But now? All I want to do is sleep all day. My classes are hard. Sometimes I see that as a fun challenge, but most of the time it's a pain in the ass that I don't want to deal with. The pressure to meet the expectations to get into vet school is too much. I can't get a 3.5 GPA. I don't even know if I can pass my physics class. Maybe it's because I don't study for my physics class. But why don't I study then if vet school is so important to me then? Becoming a vet was the only thing I ever really wanted in my whole life. I was fine that I couldn't play sports, that I sucked at dancing, that I was so bad at the flute that I didn't even hold it right and struggled to read music, that I didn't have any friends, that I never had a boyfriend- I wish those weren't true, but I was fine with them because I had my dream, the one thing I really, really, really wanted. But now, that it comes down to it, I just don't have what it takes. I have neither the smarts nor the motivation to do schoolwork. I can't talk to people, which pretty much means I can't have a normal life. I didn't go to the fricken Ag Career Fair today because of that. And because I'm stressed. Because there is too much to do and not enough time to do it. And even knowing that fact I am not working on any of the stuff I'm supposed to be working on. I'm still not doing anything. No, I'm fricken blogging! But I have to blog because I am stressed. And I've been spending the past two days trying to help a friend who I really care about and I don't think it did any good. It just stressed me out. And said friend doesn't know how much it hurts me. And said friend doesn't know how much I wish it didn't. It's easier not to care. Not to care about school or not to care about people. Letting people into your life sucks. And my friend was right about that. Even though I said it was wrong. Then why do we do it? Because were all masochists? Because it's human nature? Because it seemed like a good idea at the time? I think there's truth to two of those. If we don't care about anything in our lives then we do have the time to just sleep all day. Or play video games all day. I wish I could sleep all day. But that gets boring and depressing after a few days. And to try to live a lifetime like that just won't work. That's why we have to care about things. Like school and people. Caring about those things gives life meaning. It gives life hope. I know there are better things out there in life to experience. And I'm sure as hell not going to get to experience them by sitting in my bedroom all day, whether I be sleeping or studying in here. But I guess there are just things you have to do before you can experience them. Like, I'll never get to perform surgery unless I go to vet school and I'll never get to go to vet school unless I pass physics, and I'll never pass physics unless I wake-up! Wake-up to reality. This is life. Life is hard. And it sucks, most of the time. But all the times it doesn't suck, are worth the times it does. Because I do want to have a life. I want to have a boyfriend, I want to have friends, I want to play the flute, I want to go dancing at clubs in Chicago when I turn 21, and I want to go to vet school. I just need to be reminded sometimes. Which is hard because my lazy-ass, depressed side takes over and is the devil on my shoulder and I just want to give it all up. I need people in my life to help me. Be my friends, be the angel on my shoulder. Because I always help my friends, but I feel like nobody ever helps me. And maybe that's more my fault than I've been willing to admit in the past. I don't know how to talk to people. I don't know how to talk about the weather with people let alone open up about my deepest feelings. This is where this blog comes in. Because I can talk to you without rush and without judgement. And if you don't like what I'm saying then, yeah it hurts me, but at least you are not here. Because after I finish this post, that's it, that's all I have to say. For now. But I really feel like I got it all out. I read a book once that was titled "This is All" and it was 800 pages. This is my all. All of my deepest feelings, from the last couple days and some from the last couple months and years, but mostly from the last couple hours. Because as I sat here, staring at my closed physics notebook with the 8pm test approaching, all I could think about was this stuff and I just wanted to tell somebody. I just wanted somebody  to listen. If you are reading this post, you are lucky because I was thinking about not publishing it. This post sounds like something better suited for my diary. It's private and it's personal. But it's also life. Real life. So, sorry I haven't been blogging cute, little funny stories like I usually do, but ever since I came to school here my world has been turned upside-down. I feel better after writing this, but the truth is, I'm still as confused as ever. But I guess that's just life. That's all.

Myself with a little help from God and ISU

During Destination Iowa State which was the weekend before classes started, we wrote letters to ourselves, sort of. Well back then I knew I would need a little encouragement. My letter to myself says simply: "Have fun with your life at school! I hope your classes are swell and you (me) are pursuing your dreams to become a veterinarian. Don't forget to work hard and keep your chin up!" Then there's a smiley face. That couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks me from August 20th, I really needed it right now.

I would like to extend these encouraging words to everyone. Just because you didn't get a letter doesn't mean you shouldn't keep your chin up and smile. You have a beautiful smile. 

But no need to break out the tissues just yet

I've been very homesick recently. I've been trying to keep my cool when I talk to my family but really all I want to do is scream  "I MISS YOU!" But like I said, that would be uncool, not to mention release a whole bunch of emotions, which would probably lead to crying. It has been hard reading people's statuses and tweets about going home to P-Town for fall breaks because I don't have a fall break, but I would love to go home. I watched Chicago last night, the musical staring Renee Zellweger, and every time they said "Illinois" or "Cook County" I was like, "I MISS YOU."  Not those are great places to live, but it's home (and P-Town is a good place to live).

I was doing ok after the first couple weeks of school, in terms of not missing home that much. Because, let's face it I really wanted to get out of that place and I was two years overdue. Also, because I knew I wouldn't be able to come home until Thanksgiving break, which seemed forever away in August. Well, now it's October and past mid-terms and all I can think about is going home and seeing my family the week of Thanksgiving. Seriously, ALL I can think about. Those crazy people mean everything to me.

It's a good thing though, that I picked a school six hours away though. Because anything less than four hours and I would be home every weekend. And then I wouldn't get very much growing up in, now would I? Although, right now that doesn't sound so bad.

My fav five people and me. 

A trumpet fanfare to announce it would help

Oh man, it's October now. Crazy, when did that happen? I'm so shocked every time the month changes. Like I was so used to the old month and now it's like Bam! new month, new stuff. For example, October means Halloween. It also means real fall. September has fall, but it's not the same. October is more long-sleeve shirts, raking, and pumpkins hence real fall. Except for currently, the weather has been warm. And don't get me wrong, I'm loving the 80 degree days, but it's just confusing. As if the changing of the month normally isn't confusing enough. Like remembering to flip your calender, is hard to remember sometimes. Because if you haven't realized, it's now October 9th and I'm writing this as if it were October 1st. Anyways, I had to get this out of my system, because seriously, it gets me every time.

tl; dr

I just finished my physics pre-lab, which turned out to be pretty easy this week, thank god. The first question though had all this writing and diagrams. And when I saw that I was like, "Yeah, I'm not going to read all that.  Let's go see the question first then I'll decide if it's worth it." So I scroll down to the first question and there is only one answer choice: "I have read the instruction above." 

Oh you got me there, pre-lab. Lol. Needless to say I went back and read it. Just in case.

BTW: keepin this post short for those of you who feel the same way. And because I'm too lazy to write more.

Keepin it real

About an hour and a half ago, I was in tears. I had just realized I forgot to turn in a homework assignment that was due exactly four minutes earlier, that I had spent two hours working on yesterday. Immediately after that I went to do my physics pre-lab quiz. I looked at the questions, realized I didn't know how to do any of them, then looked for instructions on how to do those problems- couldn't find that either. The following moment went something like this:

"WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!!! I SUCK AT SCIENCE AND MATH WHY THE F*** AM I MAJORING IN IT! I'M GOING TO CHANGE MY MAJOR TO ENGLISH AND I DON'T CARE WHAT MY PARENTS SAY! I AM SICK OF ALL THIS SCIENCE! I'VE NEVER LIKE SCIENCE ANYWAY! I'VE JUST BEEN LYING TO MYSELF ALL THESE YEARS!!"

And in the spirit of not overreacting, I then looked up how to change my major, if there was any chance at getting a tuition refund at this point in the semester (there's not), and contemplated the possibilities of dropping out of school- you know, whether or not I would have to live on the street to be considered a total failure or just my parents house for the rest of my life.

So, if you're wondering how all of this turned out, I passed my pre-lab with a 67% (you only have to get 50%-I know overachiever, right?) and I did that by guessing random numbers. I can't believe that strategy actually worked, but it did, I'm just cool like that. And I figured, with all of the money I've spent (in loans) already, I better keep going with this science thing, at least for this semester.

I'll call him "Tom"

I've caught this guy hanging out on my window screen multiple times. New friend or voyeur, I'm not sure.

Speaking of bugs, I've seen a lot of weird and creepy bugs since moving to Iowa. Is that a thing? Iowa has big, creepy bugs? I don't know. Seems like it. 

I'm going to do it as soon as I finish this post

Homework and I have gotten a lot closer since I've started going to real college. I didn't treat homework right at community college. Oftentimes I went weeks without doing him. And when I did do him it was almost always at school. He would wonder, "Why don't you ever take me home to meet your family?" and I would be very honest and say, "because I don't like you that much and I'm just using you to get a better grade."

But now, oh man, I do homework every weeknight. Sometimes, I do him for hours without stopping. I admit, it can be painful, especially since I was so inexperienced. However, I think I'm getting better at it. I know homework appreciates all the effort I put into our relationship. We have even tried new things. I used to only do homework on the bed. Recently though I've been doing homework on the desk. Who knows, maybe sometime I'll even do him in the library!

So even though I'm used to being a slacker, now that I'm in real college, when homework gets hard, you better believe I'm going to be there doing it all night long.

Seriously, I only went downtown like twice this summer

I would like to put an issue to rest that has been keeping me from doing my physics homework for the past two hours.  The other night I met some people at a movie at my school in Iowa. I told them I was from the Chicago suburbs. Then one guy, who is from Hawaii (why anyone would go from Hawaii to Iowa, I don't know), said he was disappointed that I don't have a Chicago accent.

So for the past two hours I have been researching, i.e googling "Chicago accent," just to figure out what it is. That didn't go so well because the people who described the Chicago accent had it very exaggerated, and I know I'm not from the city, I'm from the suburbs, but I've never heard anyone talk like they do in that one SNL skit- which multiple people cited in their websites of how to talk like a Chicagoan.

Most of my research was all over the place though. Even the Chicagoans were arguing! So, I guess even with people who are from the city, some people talk weird and some people don't.

Of course, the next step, before I could go on to my physics homework, was to figure out if I have any sort of accent. This was all settle with a quiz I found on the Internet (and you know that everything on the Internet is true and people who did the quiz on the Internet said it worked- ignore the circular reasoning). The quiz said I have a neutral accent (though I've been told [and been told I mean made fun of] that I say "bagel" weird.)

Anyways, here's a good article about talking like a Chicago local. The slang is where it's at. Some of their things I say and some I don't, but seriously other people don't call them gym shoes?! That one threw me.

Well, I guess I ought to do homework now. I also need to get groceries soon because I need bread that isn't moldy. Except that's a different story. And there's no Jewels around here. ;)


Try the quiz here!!!

The important issues

I was thinking about make-up this morning. I think of make-up as a necessary evil, also a necessary evil taxes and government, but make-up is what was on my mind this morning. Sometimes, I love putting on make-up. I love the way I can try to fix all the things that are "wrong" with my face. But make-up can also be annoying. I'd much rather spend my time in the mornings sleeping in. And make-up is also kind of a way to hide yourself, some people think, because that's not really you. Proponents of make-up would argue that it is you, just a better you, and the other side would say you don't need to be a better you, you just need to be you.

I once had a high school teacher once who was anti-make-up so I tried going without one day. I  felt great and awake to be going natural, but then a girl in my PE class was like, "You look really tired." So that was the end of that.

I do love the way it looks though. And since I was bored this morning I decided to give myself a make-over.

After online virtual make-over

After real make-up


So, see, I think make-up is pretty good stuff. Though I could always go for this look instead: 

Threesome

Had my first 3-way tonight! Skype call 3-way, that is. With my siblings. Man this post is getting less interesting  by the second. But it was still fun!

Those are very flattering pics too.

Yeah, you should probably hide the sugar and caffeine from me

I AM SO EXCITED BECAUSE I FINALLY GOT MY HOUSING ASSIGNMENT FROM SCHOOL SO I KNOW WHERE I WILL BE LIVING AND I WILL BE IN AN APARTMENT WITH MY OWN BEDROOM AND I WILL HAVE THREE ROOMIES. I AM MOVING IN IN 2 WEEKS-HELLLLLOOOOO IOWA! 


AND AND AND MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW! I'M GONNA BE 20- SO YEAH! NO MORE TEENAGE IMMATURE SHIT I GET TO JOIN THE COOL KIDS NOW. WELL NOT REALLY I STILL CAN'T DRINK. BUT STILL-20! 


I AM SO EXCITED AND YES IT DOES REQUIRE VIRTUAL SHOUTING WITH CAPSLOCK!!!!!! 

Not a good summer

RIP ELMER

You were so cuddly and I will miss you. 

Elmer M.

2007-2011

Losing a friend

 My guinea pig, Wilbur, died last night. He was the best. I don't even know what else to say. I can't really say more without crying, so here are some pictures of my cavy best friend.

I love you so much, Wilbs. Miss you.

Wilbur M. 

2007-2011 

Hot diagrams

I hope you all enjoyed no-post June, it was something new I was trying. Mainly because I was being lazy. But I think lazy a good way to spend my summer, which is why my sister and I spent hours at a lake yesterday. And you know how you learn something new everyday? I learned exactly what shade of bright red the sun can make my skin turn. 

That's my back by the way. It's slightly painful. My sister also got sunburn on her back but it was more like this:

 

Oops. Oh well, it was a fun day at least. 

Somedays you're the windshield, somedays you're the bug

My sis has life made. That's just life when you are a good high school athlete. You get free stuff, big  scholarships, and four years worth of fame mostly via your pictures in the local sports section. So this past weekend was no exception when she won the state mile race and was offered a full ride scholarship to a small school. And my sis turned it down. Some people just don't know how lucky they are. It got just plain ridiculous yesterday when she found a four-leaf clover as we were sitting outside together.

Not that she doesn't have some bad luck, she did have tonsillitis during sectionals and prom. But it's not like my life where everything seems to go wrong. At least everything school/finances related. Which is all I really care about. Though other things that are really important to me have left me down too-like the one guy who asked me out disappeared and how I have virtually no friends (Yeah, I went there again. Still mostly true).

One thing I gotta admit though is that it could be worse. I could be a usually very energetic 18 year old guy, less than two weeks away from graduation, two days away from a band trip I spent $300 of my own money on, who just found out he has mono. Like my little brother.

Looks like something went wrong with their twin connection and my sis ended up with all the good luck and he ended up with the bad. And where my share of good luck from the universe is God only knows.

Button, button, who's got the button?

This is, what, the 15th week of classes? And just today I noticed something in my microbiology lab. There's a big, red, shiny, round button in the back of the classroom. Exactly like the kind you see in TV or movies where with one push, in the heat of an emergency, big pieces of metal clamp down over windows, doors, and sometimes walls, an alarm sounds and a red light flashes and the room is set to panic as people either try to get out or in.

Or maybe it's a different kind of red button. You push it and all of the lab benches flip over into the ground and a disco ball comes down from the ceiling.

Whatever that red button does, it is so tempting to push it. I can only hope in these last couple weeks of class that something happens that causes my professor to shout, "SOMEONE PUSH THE RED BUTTON!" and I will be standing right by it for the pleasure and honor.

I knew there was a holiday this month

HAPPY 4/20 EVERYONE! Last year I offered you this video: Because I Got High. Well, I have another one for you this year: Weed Card. These are perfect ways to celebrate the holiday if you are lame like me and don't do anything else for it. :(

Speaking of holidays, administrative professionals day is next week. Which is an unholiday for me because it means I have to go in to work an hour early because my bosses have stuff to go to where they get lunch and massages or something.  Not cool.

Oh yeah, Happy Easter too! No, wait, I'm working on Easter. Boo Easter.

Man, April holidays suck. 

Thanks for the kisses

This blog post is a thank you note to my intro business professor's wife who read a study that said that students test better when they eat chocolate during a test, so she bought him a bag of Hershey's Kisses to give to us to eat during our test today.

I don't know if I did better on my test because of it, but it did make my day. So thank you, my business professor's wife for the chocolate. You are awesome.

Now if only I could eat chocolate during my chem tests...

Murphy's law

WHAT THE HELL!!! I JUST TRIED TO BLOG ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WAS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING AND AS I WAS TRYING TO START A NEW PARAGRAPH IT ERASED 90% OF WHAT I HAD WRITTEN!!!!! I HATE MY LIFE!

Spend an hour or so with me. Or not.

For quite some time now, all of my blog posts have been things that I have thought of beforehand. Sometimes they even required planning. But there's a certain personal quality to a blog post that has no direction. Every sentence exists in my head for only seconds before it hits the keyboard. You never know where it's going to go.

The reason for this impromptu post? The computer will not let me log onto Facebook. I was devastated at first.  How was I supposed to survive another hour at work? Work?  There isn't any, except the occasional phone call. Homework? Please, it is almost the weekend. So here I am, typing this very exciting blog post.

I actually do have a post idea that I thought of today. I wanted to get another one in since obviously no one understands the way my mind work and actually understood the last post. But that's probably all for the best. I wrote this upcoming post during lunch today. Why didn't I type that one up right now since I have the time, you ask? I didn't feel like it. It is almost the weekend, remember?

I'm really looking forward to this weekend.  First of all, it's the first weekend in a month where I am not working at all. Second, I normally use these not working weekends to get all the shit done that i need to do-like big homework assignment and filling out the many forms involved in transferring schools. But for this weekend my to-do list is as follows: do nails, catch up on sleep. Nice. Not that I don't have shit to be done. I'm just not going to do it this weekend. For the sake of my mental health. It all can wait another week or two.

All right, people I am down to 36 minutes left until I can go home. We've made good progress in terms of time elapsation that didn't feel 50 times as long as it actually is due to the fact that there is nothing to do.

There's a new Grey's Anatomy on tonight. It's a musical episode. When I first heard there was going to be a musical episode, I felt scared. If you are having a hard time relating to why I would feel that particular emotion do this: think of your favorite drama TV show or movie, now imagine, all of a sudden, they grab who are whatever is closest to them, whirls it around the floor and start singing. Get it now? If you're really that much of a nerd, you can apply the previous scenario to your favorite drama novel, if you don't have a favorite drama TV show or movie. But I got over that feeling, and I became excited- something new and different. Then they had no new episodes for three weeks(until last week)- and I got mad. One big hyped-up musical event at the price of three new episodes- it's not worth it. Part of me doesn't want to watch it tonight. Like a thats-what-you-tv-people-get-for-not-having-any-new-episodes-for-three-weeks-in-a-row type thing. That'll show 'em, I'm sure.

T minus 22 minutes.

T minus 21 minutes.

T minus 20 mintues.

Well, sitting here is fun. Now I've ran out of things to talk about. Am I really going to talk about how I ran out of things to talk about? Yes, yes I am. This sucks. This blog post was supposed to cure my boredom and now I have nothing left to say. Are you even still reading this? You must be really bored to. I know if I saw this really long post, I'd be all like, "Hell no, I'm no reading all that!" Like, what do you think I'm some kind of reader or something? I mean, if I wanted to read, I wouldn't be on the Internet, seriously.

That's actually not true, I enjoy reading things on the Internet. Especially news stories on Yahoo (cuz lets face it some of them don't really qualify as news, but they're interesting as hell) and funny websites like notalwaysright.com. I'm not going to turn that into a link. If you really want to go to that website, you can type it in your damn self. Don't expect me to do everything for you, ya baby. Plus, I've linked to that site before. Not my fault if you didn't feel like clicking on it back then and you do now.

13 minutes...

So, nice weather we're having? Sort of. We warmer than we have been most days this year, but right now we're below the average for this time of year-at least that's what they said on the radio. Something like that anyways.

11 minutes...

I have to pee. I know you really wanted to know that. So, now you know. I'm also hungry. Two days ago, I decided I was going on a diet because I need to lose a few pounds. One day ago I ate Oreos and vetoed my decision from the day before. I did, however, decided to eat less junk food. That's why I only had 2 Oreos instead of the 6 I usually eat in one sitting. And I usually have more than one sitting. But yesterday I only at two total. I was very proud of myself.

7 minutes- we're getting close. I can feel the excitement. I can almost picture myself shutting off the light, walking out that door, closing and locking it, and realizing I left something in here. Well, luckily that has never happened to me- yet.

Ok, now I'm down to 5 minutes and I think I must sign off now. You know, I have to lock the file cabinets, log off the comp, turn off lights and that shit. I enjoyed spending this hour with you. Well, it was an hour for me (a little less). But you probably read it faster though. If it did take you an hour to read this, that's ok, I won't judge you (just because you're slow). See what I did there?

Oh, and to keep with the whole writing-as-I-think-it thing, I'm not going to go back and edit this thing. So if there are misspelling or something that doesn't make sense- too fuckin bad.

6:59. C ya.

You can turn anything into something inappropriate

Dear microbiology lab manual,

No thanks. I'm not into that.

Sincerely,

Gloria

You can't joke about something like that

"Do you want to take a class with Beyonce?"

Now, I normally look at things pretty realistically (ahem), but when I read that on a sign at my school I was like, "HELL YA, I wanna take a class with Beyonce!" And suddenly I am no longer standing in a doorway on my way to the bathroom. I am shaking my booty next to Beyonce singing, "All the single ladies, all the single ladies..." while the sun shines through the window enveloping me and her in a glow of righteousness and we are the only two in the room.
 
Until I read the next line, "Well, we don't have a course like that here..." Dreams shattered, but no one hears so I pick myself up. Of course. Right. Why would we? There's not way in hell this community college can afford to bring BEYONCE here. So I continue on to the bathroom with my normal life.

You know, it's really cruel to tease a girl like that.

I didn't even read the rest of the sign. Something about a PE class, idk. Good attention grabber though, but next time needs more follow-through.

Ask yourself: WWFS?

My day started in a castle, somewhere in dreamland. I was a princess and I was getting married. I was trying on clothes for the wedding and festivities while my servants who were dressed like Austin Powers extras/ back up dancers in "Go, Go, Go, Joesph" in the video version of Joesph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat starring Donny Osmond, helped me. And my shy, quiet unroyal groom stood there nervously through all the ripping clothes off bodies and dancing. Then the scene cut to a group of men seated on the wedding day. They wore old-fashioned style modern clothes. Then a few of the men, with a pack leader, started making fun of the groom's father and his big, blue wool coat with huge wooden buttons. Then the pack leader proceeds to pluck off the buttons one-by-one with his sword. The groom's father just sat there and took all of their shit.

As I look back at this incredibly realistic dream, I can't help but wonder, what would Freud say about all this?

Delivering you a slightly amusing blog post

Did you ever look at a word and think "That sounds nothing like what it really means. That's totally stupid. They should change that because if I need a word for what it sounds like what it should be, I won't have a word for it!"

No, you've never thought that?

Ok, here's an example: Deliver 

What it means:

 

What it sounds like/ what it should mean:

 

So did you like this post? Did I deliver? (ha, get it?) #punniful 

PS. You will never look at the word "deliver" the same way again. 

________________________________________________________________________

On an unrelated note: This is my 200th blog post!

Should I present this orally?

I was having writer's block for my creative writing class. Poetry isn't really my thing, but we have a whole bunch due soon so I'm pretty much up to my ears in bad poetry. Which reminded me of my two favorites that I've ever written- that I wrote for this blog. Remember the ones about my flute and computer?  Anyway, that inspired me to try that same kind. I don't know if this is appropriate to turn in for class though:

Dear Cheetos,
How could I have ever resisted you?
From the moment I first tasted you,
I was doomed to be yours forever.
You are very cheesy,
but I love that about you.
And when things get boring,
you know how to make them flamin hot.
Everyday I have to have you,
In my mouth.
Whether you are crunchy, puffs, or baked,
you still give me what I want.
Even when your prices go up,
I will not be turned off.

Please, never leave me alone at lunch time.
I'd miss you too much.
Always yours,
Gloria

Not asking for a lot

There are some things in life I think would be nice to have that I currently don't. Such as:

1. Friends 
2. Windshield wipers that make the road easier to see, not harder
3. Enough money to at least buy deodorant (don't worry my mom got me some) 
4. Someone to watch the front office for me a work for 5 minutes. Seriously, the last fifteen minutes of every night I am so close to peeing myself.  
5. Boobs

If I won the lottery, all of these problems would be solved. Everyone would want to be my friend. I could buy the windshield wipers, deodorant, and boobs. And I could quit this lame job because I wouldn't need the money! See how that would work out? I don't get people who say money won't solve all your problems or make you happy-it totally would.

Though there probably are more realistic ways to go about this. But I'm not complaining. Like I said, they would just be nice to have.

College students say the darnest things

It happens that you always seem to catch the weirdest parts of people's conversations. Recently I've noticed that this happens more often at that moment when you take your earphones out at a crowded place. I'm going to call it the Harper Cafeteria Phenomenon.

Today I got: "I put hand sanitizer on and she said she could still taste it." I don't want to speculate what that could possibly be referring to.

Monday's was a little more clear cut: "You can do anything on PCP, man." But it's still just as weird.

As interesting as these are, maybe I should leave my earphones in until I get to class.

There's nothing like a good snowgasm

Well, Chicago's 3rd largest snowstorm is over. It had been hyped up for days before. Reports of 24" of snow, strong winds and "life-threatening conditions" were the only things on the news for days. The radio station I listen to had a blast with this. They came up with more names for it- snowmageddon, snowzilla, snowMG, and my favorite- snowgasm.

The storm was pretty crazy. As it was starting yesterday afternoon, I was driving home from school. Everything was white. Stoplights were shaking from the wind. I couldn't go more than 15mph without my car sliding. The traffic was so terrible it took me 4x as long to get home as it normally does and my car's windshield wipers just smeared the snow so I couldn't see.

Last night everyone's Facebook statuses were about the blizzard, "snowpocalyse, " and thunder snow. 

This morning I woke up early, because I was sick and couldn't sleep, but also because I didn't want to miss the snowpocalypse. I looked out the window to see the snow and wind. My neighbor was outside snow-blowing his driveway in his fire suit. I guess you don't get a snow day when you're the fire chief.

As I was listening to the radio this morning they were talking about the storm and all, including what happen  on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. Apparently there were a few accidents which stranded people in their cars for hours. As they continued to talk about that story they referred to it as the "LSD situation." I thought that was an unfortunate acronym.

It wasn't all crayons and rainbows

A lot of college kids I know miss their childhoods and try to go back to that fun, worry-free time of their lives by watching Disney movies and coloring. But I don't miss being a little kid. For me it was a very confusing time of my life.

For example my mom often told me lies to get me to not do stuff. Like once I wanted a Spiderman balloon. My mom told me there were hundreds of little spiders in the balloon and if it popped they would all come out. She also said if I slept in a ponytail my hair would fall out. I just recently tested that. It's not true. 

Once my dad played a trick on me. After dinner he called me back to the kitchen saying that I didn't drink all of my juice. I thought I had drank all of it, but there was my juice cup filled with with juice. I couldn't deny that. I was so distraught. But he had refilled my cup- I found out later.

Of course just because my parents told me something didn't mean I believed it. They warned me one night before bed not to touch the humidifier because it was really hot. I had to see for myself. So I touched it and burned my finger. It was really hot. And it hurt.

So a whole bunch of big men chase after a ball then jump on each other?

My dad just kicked me off the TV because the Bears-Packers game is on. And it's a big deal, I guess. But yeah, have you seen the local Walmart? They have a huge thing set up with Bears t-shirts and chips and stuff. You know, if Walmart thinks it's a big deal, it's a big deal. Or not.

At least after today it will be over. The news around here has been all about the game. Especially with that Wisconsin newspaper that had in a headline "Chicaco"

The truth is though, that I'm up for anything that makes the day even just a little bit more special than every other ordinary day. So even though the game is on right now and I'm not watching it, I'm wearing blue and orange. My mom bought cheesy popcorn for the occasion too. You can't get mad when there's cheesy popcorn.

The internet makes you do stupid things

One of my favorite websites, and a very popular one amongst my friends, is one called Surviving the World. Where a guy writes funny and interesting things on a chalkboard. It's always amusing, usually laugh out loud funny, and occasionally hilarious. And the guy who does it is cute too which doesn't hurt. If you haven't heard of it, you should check it out.

So this blog post has a point besides free advertising for STW, the guy who does it is currently doing something he calls "Student Presentations" where readers of the website can submit their own web comics in the style of STW and he picks a few and puts them up on the website. So, being as internet-obsessed as I am, I just had to try it.

Considering I don't have a chalkboard/whiteboard or camera-it didn't really work out. But I thought I'd post it here so those two hours of hard work and the embarrassing moment where my mom walked in on me talking pictures of myself with my computer with my decorative Ikea lamp on its side pointed on my face, will not have gone to waste.

Enjoy! Gloria's STW failed atempt: "Well I'm certainly not going to read it"

I watch too much TV

A commercial that was well thought out:  ExtenZe for men.

There's an older gentleman holding a football at a game with hot cheerleaders behind him while he talks about the product. At the end, he throws the football and says "go long." Get it?

A commercial that was not well thought out: PediaSure.

One soccer mom asks another if one kid looks like he's playing slow. They show him on the field and he is wearing a huge fry container with gigantic fries costume. The second mom says, "you are what you eat" and they go back to the soccer game where the goalie is a big donut and the ball goes right through her middle into the goal. Hence they should drink the product in order to play better. Except all the other children playing soccer were just children. They weren't PediaSure or a carrot. So if this "you are what you eat" thing holds true, those children eat other children. Cannibalism!

It's a twister! or just tuesday...

I've always wondered what the chances were of there being a tornado, where I live, on the first Tuesday of the month at 10 am. I figure not very good. That's pretty specific. And if Mother Nature is hell bent on unleashing that kind of wrath, I assume she wouldn't take the time to appreciate the irony of a tornado during the tornado siren testing.

But to be completely serious for a moment, the tornado sirens is a good system that's in place. It could possibly help save lives and prevent serious injuries if there really was a tornado. So it is a good thing they test it the first Tuesday of every month at 10 am to make sure it still works. Because if you don't make it into the cellar, you'll bump your head and end up dancing with a scarecrow, talking to a lion, getting bossed around by a big floating head, and taking advice from a lady whose idea of transportation is a bubble. And if that's what you want, it's a lot easier just to see your local drug dealer.

Plus, the siren made a really good alarm clock this morning.