Girls don't put shaving cream on their own faces

My sister has anger management issues. Today, was the second time this week she punched me in the arm (hard) over a stupid TV thing. The first time was because I changed the channel during a Michael Jackson music video and today it was because I was trying keep the volume at a relatively high, but not ear bursting, level so I could hear it.

It makes me mad when she punches me, or hits me, kicks me -whatever the physical abuse may be, but I (usually) don't do anything back. 1. because I'm the better person 2. she's stronger than me and 3. she has this weird ability to not get in trouble no matter what she does that I seem to lack.

Well, today I was sick of it and I told her she better sleep with one eye open because I'm going to put shaving cream on her face while she's sleeping. And as I've already mentioned, I'm a good person and I keep my promises. So, I actually am going to do it. I mean I might change it up a bit. Like maybe I'll just put it on her feet or I'll use peanut butter, but something is definitely going down tonight. I figure I'm going away to college in a couple months and therefore do not care about the consequences. Plus, she deserves it.

I'll let you know how it goes.

If you throw up there, it means you're having fun

Why am I sitting here with my contacts in when they're really dry and bothering me when I really should be taking them out? Because I want to damage my vision in some weird masochistic way. Or because I'm too lazy to get up.

The carnival is coming to my town soon. I've been waiting since it left last year. For the past two years I went with my sister and her friend. It was fun but last year they asked me why I didn't go with my friends. Good question. So I decided then that next year I would go with my friends and we could all throw up together. Honestly, I didn't know if my friends even liked carnival rides. Some people don't. Personally, I find going round and round on machines operated by creepy people to be a source of enjoyment. Anyways, I figured one of 'em would go. 'Cept now my parents won't let me go on the rides because of my ear thing. And the worst part is, I was texting my friend today and she agrees with them! It has been a month people (or will be). Everyone thinks they're a doctor. Too many doctor shows on TV if you ask me (she says sarcastically because she has the TV schedules to Grey's Anatomy, House, Mystery Diagnosis, Untold Stories of the ER, and Scrubs bookmarked on her computer).

First no community marching band and now no carnival. Is it too late to take back the ear surgery?

Whatever. I don't have any money anyway.

I better go take my contacts out. I'm gonna need my vision if I'm gonna be half deaf for the next six months.

You could shoot for the stars, but they would just burn you

At this transition period in my life I was thinking about the future. I considered all possibilities:

• Get a book published or get a story publish on MyLifeIsAverage
• Have kids or have a pot-bellied pig
• Become a veterinarian or watch a full episode of E-Vet Interns on Animal Planet
• Buy a jacuzzi or buy bubbles for the bath tub
• Go to Australia or go to Outback Steakhouse
• Spend my free time doing volunteer work or spend my free time watching satellite TV
• Graduate college without cheating or finish a bored.com escape game without cheating
• Go on an all-day shopping spree with my friends or go on an online shopping spree by my lonely self
• Go skinny-dipping or shower with the door open
• Learn to speak Spanish fluently or learn to speak pig latin fluently
• Meet a famous person or meet my aunt's cousin who played a caveman on the Geico commercials
• Buy a big vacation house with my friends or build a big Polly house with my friends

They all sound like viable options, except watching E-Vet interns, which is no longer on air.

Contradiction season

I just realized that my blogging name is Rodent Girl, yet for my profile pic I have a picture of frogs. It just doesn't make sense. Then I realized it was good timing because of the recent starburst commercials with their contradictions- Scottish Korean, solid yet juicy starbursts, albino lifeguard. "One contradiction eating another!" If you don't know what I'm talking about- you don't watch enough TV.

You can't make me stop

For the past two days, every time I go to my freezer to get some ice cream, I get attacked. Freeze pops, frozen pizza, and that noodly stuff with the meat inside that I don't like, all fall on me and the floor. Then I have to pick them up and start a balancing act to get them back in. By the time everything is arranged, my fingers are so cold I don't even want to touch the ice cream anymore.

After I put the ice cream in my bowl, I have to put the ice cream container back and the irritating process is repeated. All of this just for a little ice cream. It's like it doesn't want me to have ice cream. "You shouldn't be eating this because you never exercise so I'm going to make it difficult for you."

What's the big deal?

The reason for my ear surgery was because I had a cholesteatoma. That's just a fancy way of saying there was debris, like dead skin, built up in my middle ear. Naturally, when I was first diagnosed in January, I started searching the Internet for information. My usual website, WebMd, was kind of a let down (nerdy-me admits to reading articles on there for fun). There wasn't a lot of information on cholesteatomas. And as I searched the world wide web it seemed to me like there wasn't much info on the web at all. That is until I found the Yahoo! group.

Yahoo! groups is a great feature and apparently they have everything from like Dukin Donuts group (called Dunkin' Coffee Table) -"A place for coffee lovers to converge" to the Cholesteatoma group. This was a great source of information. Not only did it have links to many informative websites, but there were also discussions going on and I could read about people's personal experiences.

As I would read these though, it seemed to me like people were way too into this cholesteatoma thing. There were two kinds of people I noticed right way. One, the people who either had really bad doctors or really bad luck. These people had like ten surgeries, each one lasting like five hours, with overnight hospital visits. Seems a bit extreme to me. The surgeon who did my surgery, can do it in like 45 minutes. My surgery, where he also had to build me a new eardrum and repair a whole in my semicircular canal still only took 2 hours and 40 minutes.

Then there are the people who are like way too dramatic. "Oh my god! I have to have surgery! But I have two children!" Chill out. You have some dead skin in your ear, not cancer.

This Yahoo! group is an active group a with almost 1800 members. I think it's great for information to learn about what others went through, but I just think that some people take it too seriously. For months now I have wanted to post there and ask "What's the big deal" But I realized that might be kind of rude and I can't trust my teenager judgment so I didn't.

However, recently, one member decided to make a blog and dedicate it entirely to her long, sad cholesteatoma experience. Really? Can you write a whole blog on that? I read it yesterday. She's already writing about her fifth surgery out of eight and her blog is only a few weeks old. Plus, the title, I Am Surviving Cholesteatoma. Well, I sure hope so! I would think you have a better chance of not surviving the flu.

I understand it freaks some people out because it's happening to their four year old, or they don't want to lose their hearing, or have surgery. But it's not that bad. It's a nuisance, yes. I admit that I hate that I still can't touch or lay on the right side of my face. And it is really annoying only to be able to hear out of one ear, but it is only temporary. And for the people who's hearing loss from the cholesteatomas is permanent they can get a hearing aid. As for the surgery, it's practically an outpatient procedure. I'll give it to the four year olds.

Perhaps, I have exaggerated a bit. Most people use the group for the same reason I do. It's just the obsessive, freaking out, dramatic people who bug me. Someone needs to tell them to chill out.

Anyway, I just wanted to rant about it.

PE shorts make good PJs

I can't sleep. I feel weird saying this because it's all bright and nice outside right now. The sun is out, birds are chirping- actually I wouldn't know if birds are chirping because the air conditioner is on and my windows are closed, but I bet they are. Oh yeah and it's 8:30 in the morning.

I would love to start my day this early, really I would, but as of right now I've already been awake for an hour and this doesn't suit me because I didn't go to sleep until 4 am. So, at 8:20, when I felt that trying to fall asleep would just be wasting my time, I got up and decided to eat a waffle. I thought about watching TV, a common act of the sleep-hopefuls. Except my sister would be coming home soon from early bird running (an act of lunatics if you ask me) and she normally doesn't like people disturbing her "alone time." Being the witchy person she sometimes is (more often than not at her age), I thought I wouldn't bother her. Not because I respect her "alone time" because I don't give a damn, but because I was too tired to argue with her.

Sure enough, 3 minutes after I arrived in the kitchen, my sister came home. She was surprisingly in a good mood. I guess you just need someone to complain to about how hard the workout was and how hot it was outside and how you were doing a hard workout in the heat.

When I went back to my room to blog, my sister followed. I wanted to type, but since she was in fact not being witchy, I talked to her. She told me how she rode her bike no-handed. I was in disbelief over the fact that she could make a no-handed turn. So, we went outside. She got on her bike and showed me and as she was about to show me again, two boys in a fancy car drove by- while I was standing there in my pjs.

We went back inside and my sister still wanted to talk. I wanted to blog- about her- so you can see the predictiment I was in. And in case she is reading this, it was nice talking to you this morning. We should do it more often. Though I'm not going outside in my pajamas again.

She's still getting her "alone time," but this morning she got her "Rodent Girl time" too. And can you blame her? Who wouldn't want to talk to me?

Blogliness

Does my blog look a little off to you? I was playing with it last night because I was bored and would you believe I ended up changing the whole template?! Then I freaked out and changed it back, but I couldn't remember the exact color of some things. So it may look slightly different. You probably didn't even notice. I did change the picture on the title though- that was on purpose. However if anyone remembers what color the post title color was, let me know.

Doohickey telepathy

While I was watching TV today, I became frustrated with the remote. You see, I was watching Scrubs on channel 42. During commercials, though, I wanted to watch something else. It was either That 70s Show on 51 or iCarly 0n 46. In order to get back to Scrubs, I would use the "Go Back" button on the remote. So during the commercial I would flip to 51, but it was a commercial on that channel too so I had no other choice, but to go to 46. The problem is now when I hit the "Go Back" button it goes 51, not 42 Scrubs like I wanted it to.

That's when I decided it would be much better if the remote could just know what channel I wanted it to go to. It should just read my mind. I am still willing to press one button, if it could just do that one little thing for me. Go back to Scrubs instead of That 70s Show.

This whole mind reading thing should also apply to cell phones. I don't have a fancy cell phone- it was pretty cheap actually, and it does not have a qwerty (that was fun to type) keyboard. Also, I suck at texting. But when I went to type "2" in my message, I had to go through "a", "b", and "c" first. Now really the cell phone should have known that when I hit that button I wanted the "2" and not those other letters. Again- one button. I'll manage to press that as long as it can do a little mind reading for me.

You may be wondering, if you are having all these problems, why don't you get fancier things? Go for the qwerty (still fun) cell phone or a TV thing that has some channely thing (IDK)? And the answer is simply I don't want to. Technology is just not advanced enough.

Though I suppose that's good since I cannot even work with current technology. That spinny-ness on Ipods is just too much for me. I need something with a definite click when I push it. Still, we should have had flying cars by now.

Old, but still great in bed

I just told my brother how it's a good thing he got a new computer. His old laptop, which was five years old had stopped working, so when the wireless on my laptop stopped working I borrowed his wireless card because I thought maybe mine wasn't at its peak performance due the fact that I had stepped on it multiple times. Well, a couple of weeks ago I wanted to go on my computer before bed, but it was late and the beauty of a laptop is that you can use it in bed. However, it somehow ended up falling off the bed and crashing on the floor. Needless to say, the wireless card I promised my brother I wouldn't break cracked in half and I was ghettoly using a rubber a band to hold it together. I put my old wireless card back in. It's prettier anyway.

By the way, be careful what you find on the internet because my brother's new laptop also has a web cam.

Play it by ear

Well, I feel kind of detached from reality now and I am ready to jump back in and not a minute too soon. You know it's bad when I'm sick of TV. The reason- last week I had ear surgery.

About this surgery, well, I didn't think it would be a big deal. The ear doctor told me he only operates on Thursdays and that way his patients can go back to work/school on the following Monday. I figure, great, a few days to chill and then back to normal. Even in the pre-op room the resident was like, "What are you doing this weekend?" Um, I can do stuff this weekend, so soon after surgery? It sounded good to me.

When they woke me up after my 45-minute-turned-2 1/2 hours surgery my first thought was I have to throw up. At that point I was still in the operating room- I bet they would have had fun cleaning that up. I managed to wait, throw up twice, then sleep in the recovery area for the next three hours. I felt bad because my parents didn't get to see me while I was sleeping there and it may have been a little my fault seeing as I stayed up until 1 the night before and had to get up at 6:30.

The next few days consisted of me throwing up every time I tried eating something and being so dizzy I had to have someone walk me to the bathroom whenever I had to go. In this lovely time, I also did not shower. By the time (Wednesday) I had figured out a way to wash my hair without getting water in or behind (where they cut me open) my ear, I wasn't even sure it was hair anymore- just a big pile of greasiness. And when I finally was able to eat, I had difficulties because I couldn't open my mouth all the way or chew on the right side, seeing as that side of my face was all swollen and bruised.

So, no Doc, I did not do anything that weekend. I also think that had I had school I would not have gone back on Monday, unless of course they wanted me to fall down three flights of stairs. I know this whole post has sounded like a list of complaints but cut me some slack because they did cut my head open for cryin out loud. And the best part? I have to have another ear surgery in six months. yay.