Are we there yet?

I recall a conversation from last year with a guy I know, Ryan, where I was like, "What's finals week like at real college? Because at Harper it's awesome because you're hardly in class and you get to sleep in." And Ryan was like, "Yeah, no, it's not like that at all." Then he walked away without telling me what it's like.  Well, now I'm finding out what it's like.

I think the final gods are cashing in on their karma on me because not only do I have 5 finals to take, but I also have 2 make-up tests from when I was sick (should have two-can't get a hold of one professor-only adding to my stress!). Not to mention, I'm still catching up on new material from when I was sick. In other words, I have no choice but to study ALL THE TIME.  It's funny because this whole semester I attributed my less-than-perfect first-semester-of-real-college grades to the fact that I don't really know how to study on a count of never really having to study before, but still was able to get good grades with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. A problem that was only made worse by most of my Harper classes (with the exception of general chem 2 which may be the only class I despise more than my current physics class, measured by the amount it kills me and my brain). But as of a few days ago, I have been studying probably more than I have the whole semester. I definitely know how to study now. Speaking of which, I must get back to.  I can do this, right? 

PS. Is it ok to put off studying for physics by studying for other classes? It's still studying. 

Candy makes everything better, right?

I expect too much out of holidays. Today was pretty much a normal day, but with more candy. My highlight of the day was hiding Easter eggs for the little kids at church.

Actually, I'm pretty much disappointed everyday. Life sucks. 

I am sick of school. I am sick of living with my family. I am sick of my boring life, and I am sick of Easter candy- literally.

And I can't handle the speeches and the accompanying nervous stomach which lasts all day even if we ran out of time and I didn't actually go. And I can't handle two jobs and mass amounts of homework because just thinking about them makes me stressed. And I can't handle worrying about people, especially people who ask me out, freak me out by how much they like me even after only two dates because I generally try to stay away from people, get me to like them, then run into family problems and don't talk to me in three weeks. 

I know my problems are not bad, really not even problems at all. But I am having a mini meltdown, and I just wanted to get that shit off my chest. Thanks for reading.

Squirt gun filled with fruit punch

I went ahead and bought a princess costume today. Not the one I mentioned before, but a still relatively high priced one. That probably wasn't the best decision since I also did not go to work today. That's ok, though because princesses don't work.

I also bought boots and a handful of other essentials (gloves, deodorant, sweedish fish). Again probably not a good decision because I took off work for tomorrow and told everyone I wasn't coming in on Friday, but buying all that stuff still felt good. It helped me break free from the suck fest my life has become.

I see the word shopaholic in my future. I'll take that over other problems that could arise from dealing with too much stress. At least I'll have a lot of nice stuff.