Delivering you a slightly amusing blog post

Did you ever look at a word and think "That sounds nothing like what it really means. That's totally stupid. They should change that because if I need a word for what it sounds like what it should be, I won't have a word for it!"

No, you've never thought that?

Ok, here's an example: Deliver 

What it means:

 

What it sounds like/ what it should mean:

 

So did you like this post? Did I deliver? (ha, get it?) #punniful 

PS. You will never look at the word "deliver" the same way again. 

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On an unrelated note: This is my 200th blog post!

Should I present this orally?

I was having writer's block for my creative writing class. Poetry isn't really my thing, but we have a whole bunch due soon so I'm pretty much up to my ears in bad poetry. Which reminded me of my two favorites that I've ever written- that I wrote for this blog. Remember the ones about my flute and computer?  Anyway, that inspired me to try that same kind. I don't know if this is appropriate to turn in for class though:

Dear Cheetos,
How could I have ever resisted you?
From the moment I first tasted you,
I was doomed to be yours forever.
You are very cheesy,
but I love that about you.
And when things get boring,
you know how to make them flamin hot.
Everyday I have to have you,
In my mouth.
Whether you are crunchy, puffs, or baked,
you still give me what I want.
Even when your prices go up,
I will not be turned off.

Please, never leave me alone at lunch time.
I'd miss you too much.
Always yours,
Gloria

Not asking for a lot

There are some things in life I think would be nice to have that I currently don't. Such as:

1. Friends 
2. Windshield wipers that make the road easier to see, not harder
3. Enough money to at least buy deodorant (don't worry my mom got me some) 
4. Someone to watch the front office for me a work for 5 minutes. Seriously, the last fifteen minutes of every night I am so close to peeing myself.  
5. Boobs

If I won the lottery, all of these problems would be solved. Everyone would want to be my friend. I could buy the windshield wipers, deodorant, and boobs. And I could quit this lame job because I wouldn't need the money! See how that would work out? I don't get people who say money won't solve all your problems or make you happy-it totally would.

Though there probably are more realistic ways to go about this. But I'm not complaining. Like I said, they would just be nice to have.

College students say the darnest things

It happens that you always seem to catch the weirdest parts of people's conversations. Recently I've noticed that this happens more often at that moment when you take your earphones out at a crowded place. I'm going to call it the Harper Cafeteria Phenomenon.

Today I got: "I put hand sanitizer on and she said she could still taste it." I don't want to speculate what that could possibly be referring to.

Monday's was a little more clear cut: "You can do anything on PCP, man." But it's still just as weird.

As interesting as these are, maybe I should leave my earphones in until I get to class.

There's nothing like a good snowgasm

Well, Chicago's 3rd largest snowstorm is over. It had been hyped up for days before. Reports of 24" of snow, strong winds and "life-threatening conditions" were the only things on the news for days. The radio station I listen to had a blast with this. They came up with more names for it- snowmageddon, snowzilla, snowMG, and my favorite- snowgasm.

The storm was pretty crazy. As it was starting yesterday afternoon, I was driving home from school. Everything was white. Stoplights were shaking from the wind. I couldn't go more than 15mph without my car sliding. The traffic was so terrible it took me 4x as long to get home as it normally does and my car's windshield wipers just smeared the snow so I couldn't see.

Last night everyone's Facebook statuses were about the blizzard, "snowpocalyse, " and thunder snow. 

This morning I woke up early, because I was sick and couldn't sleep, but also because I didn't want to miss the snowpocalypse. I looked out the window to see the snow and wind. My neighbor was outside snow-blowing his driveway in his fire suit. I guess you don't get a snow day when you're the fire chief.

As I was listening to the radio this morning they were talking about the storm and all, including what happen  on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. Apparently there were a few accidents which stranded people in their cars for hours. As they continued to talk about that story they referred to it as the "LSD situation." I thought that was an unfortunate acronym.