Girls don't put shaving cream on their own faces

My sister has anger management issues. Today, was the second time this week she punched me in the arm (hard) over a stupid TV thing. The first time was because I changed the channel during a Michael Jackson music video and today it was because I was trying keep the volume at a relatively high, but not ear bursting, level so I could hear it.

It makes me mad when she punches me, or hits me, kicks me -whatever the physical abuse may be, but I (usually) don't do anything back. 1. because I'm the better person 2. she's stronger than me and 3. she has this weird ability to not get in trouble no matter what she does that I seem to lack.

Well, today I was sick of it and I told her she better sleep with one eye open because I'm going to put shaving cream on her face while she's sleeping. And as I've already mentioned, I'm a good person and I keep my promises. So, I actually am going to do it. I mean I might change it up a bit. Like maybe I'll just put it on her feet or I'll use peanut butter, but something is definitely going down tonight. I figure I'm going away to college in a couple months and therefore do not care about the consequences. Plus, she deserves it.

I'll let you know how it goes.

If you throw up there, it means you're having fun

Why am I sitting here with my contacts in when they're really dry and bothering me when I really should be taking them out? Because I want to damage my vision in some weird masochistic way. Or because I'm too lazy to get up.

The carnival is coming to my town soon. I've been waiting since it left last year. For the past two years I went with my sister and her friend. It was fun but last year they asked me why I didn't go with my friends. Good question. So I decided then that next year I would go with my friends and we could all throw up together. Honestly, I didn't know if my friends even liked carnival rides. Some people don't. Personally, I find going round and round on machines operated by creepy people to be a source of enjoyment. Anyways, I figured one of 'em would go. 'Cept now my parents won't let me go on the rides because of my ear thing. And the worst part is, I was texting my friend today and she agrees with them! It has been a month people (or will be). Everyone thinks they're a doctor. Too many doctor shows on TV if you ask me (she says sarcastically because she has the TV schedules to Grey's Anatomy, House, Mystery Diagnosis, Untold Stories of the ER, and Scrubs bookmarked on her computer).

First no community marching band and now no carnival. Is it too late to take back the ear surgery?

Whatever. I don't have any money anyway.

I better go take my contacts out. I'm gonna need my vision if I'm gonna be half deaf for the next six months.

You could shoot for the stars, but they would just burn you

At this transition period in my life I was thinking about the future. I considered all possibilities:

• Get a book published or get a story publish on MyLifeIsAverage
• Have kids or have a pot-bellied pig
• Become a veterinarian or watch a full episode of E-Vet Interns on Animal Planet
• Buy a jacuzzi or buy bubbles for the bath tub
• Go to Australia or go to Outback Steakhouse
• Spend my free time doing volunteer work or spend my free time watching satellite TV
• Graduate college without cheating or finish a bored.com escape game without cheating
• Go on an all-day shopping spree with my friends or go on an online shopping spree by my lonely self
• Go skinny-dipping or shower with the door open
• Learn to speak Spanish fluently or learn to speak pig latin fluently
• Meet a famous person or meet my aunt's cousin who played a caveman on the Geico commercials
• Buy a big vacation house with my friends or build a big Polly house with my friends

They all sound like viable options, except watching E-Vet interns, which is no longer on air.

Contradiction season

I just realized that my blogging name is Rodent Girl, yet for my profile pic I have a picture of frogs. It just doesn't make sense. Then I realized it was good timing because of the recent starburst commercials with their contradictions- Scottish Korean, solid yet juicy starbursts, albino lifeguard. "One contradiction eating another!" If you don't know what I'm talking about- you don't watch enough TV.

You can't make me stop

For the past two days, every time I go to my freezer to get some ice cream, I get attacked. Freeze pops, frozen pizza, and that noodly stuff with the meat inside that I don't like, all fall on me and the floor. Then I have to pick them up and start a balancing act to get them back in. By the time everything is arranged, my fingers are so cold I don't even want to touch the ice cream anymore.

After I put the ice cream in my bowl, I have to put the ice cream container back and the irritating process is repeated. All of this just for a little ice cream. It's like it doesn't want me to have ice cream. "You shouldn't be eating this because you never exercise so I'm going to make it difficult for you."