You don't want the truth

So, I've had my facebook for over a year now, but I still have issues with this whole status thing. I never know what to say. It's harder than it looks because you don't want to sound stupid or boring. You have to think about it. Some people always have witty statuses and I wonder if they sit there thinking about it or if that just comes out because that's really what's on their mind. I, on the other hand, have to think about what to make it. Because if I said what's really on my mind it would either be really boring, inappropriate/creepy, or stupid. For example:

Gloria has really bad dandruff and shouldn't have worn her black jacket. Better remember to use that special shampoo tonight.

OR

Gloria is staring at a guy sitting in front of her in class, imagining him without his pants on.

OR

Gloria hopes that guy isn't reading her mind right now. That would be awkward.

See what I mean? This is why I don't have a Twitter.