Because I am a depressed pessimist who is also bored, I decided to go to grouchyrabbit.com, and look under my favorite category: "Signs that things aren't going so well" and pick out ones that apply to my life:

Your best friend was made at a Build-a-Bear Workshop.

You have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life, as long as you die tomorrow.

You're watching porn for the plot.

TV shows are the only thing scheduled on your calendar.

A poke war is your idea of a good time.

You were about to share this on Myspace.* 

*Blogger, but close enough

If that's wrong then I don't want to be right

But it makes me feel good, so technically, I do it anyway! 

This is why you can't get a job at YouTube. But don't worry, looks like they've got things covered!

I don't know why the internet hates me recently. Maybe it thinks I'm too needy because I never leave it alone. It's just that, you know, it makes me so happy and I can't imagine my life without it. 

Didn't your mom tell you not to talk to strangers

When I was younger I used to talk to strangers online all the time despite my mom telling me not to. Then one day, someone in Brazil I was talking to on Neopets got really mad at me and tried to report me so I stopped doing that. However, tonight I decided to try again, because, well, why not?


First I went to Chatroulette. I clicked on the button that said to only connect me to people without webcams, but it didn't listen. It kept on partnering me with guys who kept on "nexting" me, probably because I had my webcam turned off. I also had my settings to not pair me with nudity, but I still saw a man's penis. Oh well.

Then I went to Omegle and did text-only; I didn't want to see anymore strange penises. Guys kept on asking for pics tho. Oh horny internet people. Once a girl disconnected after I said I was a girl too, I thought that was rude. But I did have nice chats with a girl from Cali who wants to major in drama next year, a horny guy who though had horrible grammar kept on complimenting me, a girl who was bored, and a guy who sent me a picture of the Kool-Aid man.

3 things in my mind/life right now

1.)  I am home!!!  I've missed my family so much, it's great to finally see them again. I even managed to get a hug from my little brother when I got home and my older brother picked me up by the ankles so I was up in the air-I was afraid he was going to drop me on my head! My fam even got me a welcome home banner, well, my fam and my neighbor Patrick who works at the party store.

2.) I went over to my little cousin's house last night. I missed her a lot too. We went over Spanish flashcards, sang Elmo's 12 Days of Christmas, and she even gave me a new look. Like it? It's pretty stylin. 

3.) I just read an FML that said: "Today, a customer tried to get my number at work. Unfortunately, I work at a waxing salon and had just spent 35 minutes waxing his back. FML" And there was a comment: "Give him your number cause you gave him sexy back!" Hilarious. Made my day. 

The internet makes you do stupid things

One of my favorite websites, and a very popular one amongst my friends, is one called Surviving the World. Where a guy writes funny and interesting things on a chalkboard. It's always amusing, usually laugh out loud funny, and occasionally hilarious. And the guy who does it is cute too which doesn't hurt. If you haven't heard of it, you should check it out.

So this blog post has a point besides free advertising for STW, the guy who does it is currently doing something he calls "Student Presentations" where readers of the website can submit their own web comics in the style of STW and he picks a few and puts them up on the website. So, being as internet-obsessed as I am, I just had to try it.

Considering I don't have a chalkboard/whiteboard or camera-it didn't really work out. But I thought I'd post it here so those two hours of hard work and the embarrassing moment where my mom walked in on me talking pictures of myself with my computer with my decorative Ikea lamp on its side pointed on my face, will not have gone to waste.

Enjoy! Gloria's STW failed atempt: "Well I'm certainly not going to read it"

It would be better with a Fat Lady

It has only been a couple weeks since my last post, which isn't unusual, yet when I  went to sign in to blogger today; I forgot my password. It just wasn't in my brain, and I knew that trying to remember it was a lost cause. So I followed the "forgot password" steps and it sent it to my e-mail. As I went to sign into my e-mail I thought, what if I forgot the password to my e-mail? So then I started the "forgot password" process for that one too, just to see. Its brilliant idea was to either send it to another e-mail account, if you had another associated with it, or to type in your birth date. Well, now your choices are to hope that you are well acquainted with electronic postal services, and pray you don't forget those passwords too, lest you start a chain of security questions and Captcha codes that could go as long as lining up all the Chinese around the Earth. Or you can hope you put your actual birthday, which isn't always the case; I have three Neopets accounts (don't judge) that I can no longer use for this reason. But then, what if you forget the answer to your security question?! Lucky for me, "Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" is a question I will always remember the answer to.

Here's a llama!

Since it has been almost a month with nothing to post about, I'd thought perhaps I'd share some of my favorite things to do on the Internet.

1. yahoo.com often has good stories. There's a lot of really random stuff, but also stuff that usually ends up on the news on TV the next day. Yahoo is also home to Yahoo! Answers. Even if you don't have a question to ask or answer sometimes they are just fun to read. Example- "Can I clone myself and use the clones for spare parts?" One answer- " You better hope they don't use you for spare parts!"

2. lefthandedtoons.com All three of you who read my blog, already know about this site. However, I felt the need to remind you because it is such a good site. I visit it every weekday to see the new toon. My recent favorite is called Banana!.

3. fmylife.com What website is better than this? It is stories of hilarious, crappy things that happen to people just like you (I take that back because some of the people are stupid and bring it on themselves). My favorite I read when I was moderating, but it never got posted. It went something like this: "Today, I was whistling as I walked past my academic adviser from last year. She said 'that's fitting.' I was whistling 'If I only had a brain' FML"

4. Russell Brand Normally, I don't like famous people, but I love this guy. He has everything I look for in a comedian. He's funny, British, former drug and sex addict, and was an English teacher for a year. This youtube clip, my friend showed me, is my favorite, but I would highly recommend watching the other parts too and checking out other videos of him on youtube. I also enjoy his crazy hair.

5. Abc.com The best thing on this website is the FEP. FEP used to stand for full episode player, but then got changed to free episode player- just to let you know how nice they are by letting you watch some of their shows online for free. I usually watch Grey's Anatomy, but via the FEP I recently discovered a new TV show. It's on TV on Wednesday nights, but you think I remember to watch it then? It's just not that important to me. So, in my free time, I go to abc.com to watch Better Off Ted. There are lots their shows online too, like Lost and Desperate Houswives.

Really, there are so many things you can do online. Like virtual makeovers. Seriously, how can you ever be bored with Google? There are also my old favorites- bored.com- you have not lived until you've played all of the escape games, painted your personality, and tested your psychic powers. And don't forget good ol' neopets and this video.

Dancing and robots...dancing robots? no, that's dumb

Did everyone see the new Evolution of Dance 2? Well, I have ( a few times actually) because I have nothing better to do than watch videos on the Internet (even though it was finals week). It's shorter but it's still good. You should watch it. And by "should" I mean "open up a new tab right now and come back to my blog after the 4 min 10 second video is over."

What? You didn't like it that much? It's cuz I hyped it up too much for you. Oh well. That's what happened to me Wall E I think. Everyone was like "it's so good" and I was like "oh, I want to see it" and then I saw it and I thought it was so stupid. I think it had potential to be good (it had a good plot), but, come on, it stunk.

Essays, enzymes, and makeovers

So nothing all that exciting has happened recently which is bad because 1. nothing exciting has happened and 2. it gives me nothing to blog about. I could tell the story of how my dad set the church parking lot on fire, but even that's getting old. Pretty much, I've just been sleeping, doing homework, and studying (go head, ask me about enzymes).

My English teacher read my paper out loud to the class on Friday. It was kind of embarrassing, but it was the first time I got a A plus on a paper in years. I would find a way to attach to my blog so you could read it, but the final draft is only saved on my other computer and it would take way too much effort to go get it.

So the other day, I was researching hair and make-up tips on the Internet. I found a video, "How to blow dry naturally wavy hair" and I've tried twice to get my hair to look like the girl on the video, but no matter what I do, my hair does whatever it wants-then looks like crap. I also watched "How to look older:Make-up" because I'm sick of people thinking I'm 13 years old. So, if I come to school tomorrow with freaky make-up it's because I did it wrong. Just warning you.

Animal torture

I was just at one of my favorite websites- bored.com- because I was extremely bored, but since I spent my whole summer on the computer, I've pretty much done everything on that website. So I starting looking around for something different and I discovered they had a theme song. I've never heard of a website that has a theme song before so I just had to listen. So it started playing a bad rap song, and my guinea pig-who was sleeping- starts freaking out. He jumps up, then freezes then starts moving his head side to side like, "what's that?" He looked scared like that song meant he was gonna be tortured or something. I know this is gonna sound mean, but it made me laugh. My guinea pig is scared of bored.com's theme song! So hey, bored.com- stop scaring small animals! Not the weirdest thing I've heard gp's being afraid of though. My first guinea pig was afraid of wood floors.

I think it took me longer to type than the time it happened in. Too many words.