The rules of arachnophobia

Rule #1: ALL spiders are scary. Even if they are only the size of a crumb or known to be completely harmless.

Rule #2: The only two spiders in Illinois that are potentially deadly to humans are the brown recluse and the black widow.

Rule #3: Rule #2 doesn't matter; see rule #1. 

Rule #4: If you happen to sit near a huge, scary spider while at school, look up from your studying every five minutes to make sure it doesn't suddenly run towards you to attack you.

Rule #5: If you don't run off screaming when you see this spider you either 1. don't have arachnophobia or 2. really care about that microeconomics quiz you are studying for.

Rules #6: If you are close enough to take a picture with your crappy camera phone; you are too close.